The problem is that we're stuck in Australia

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, you have to click on the subject heading you dope.) This must be some of the best ever satirical writing concerning Australia - with the possible exception of the "Axil of Evil" parody in which Canada, Mexico and Australia form the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America".

In other news, there is no news. Although I brilliantly dominated the ring-throwing exercise at Alinta's "health morning" today, totally kicked arse in the vision test and ran like a fugitive from the fat test. (I know I'm overweight - I don't need some smarmy gym-freak to tell me that.)

Chelsea's school Christmas concert is on tonight. Should be funny. Apparently her class are going to be dancing the Nutbush. (Does this complete the circle after laughing at all those bogans over the years who were dancing the Nutbush while trying to pick up some trailer-trash? OH MY GOD! ARE THEY TRAINING MY DAUGHTER TO BE A BOGAN?)

We went to look at the Myer Christmas windows with Woowyams on Saturday night. Fought for a car park for 30 minutes, stood in the queue for another 50, and the windows were all over in about 4.5 minutes. Anyway, you've gotta do it. Chelsea loved it. (It was about the "Polar Express" this year...)

Went to Dean's (family) 18th on Friday night. Pretty good night although as it was the family-only side of the celebration it was pretty tame. I burned some CDs for him as he wanted me to arrange the music, and in doing so I inadvertantly added a few songs with the F-bomb in them. Grandma Kimitsis was not impressed. Oh well, I should have gone the whole hog and added 2Pac's "Hit 'Em Up" or something...

Cracked it with Linda last night - after doing all the pre-housework chores and putting Chelsea to bed I was told off for taking too long while reading the book and being away from Linda for too long. When I say I cracked it, what I mean is that I acted like a kid and took myself to bed! Oh well, guess we'd both had enough for that day. (After falling asleep the next thing I knew, Linda was brushing me with Lolly's tail at 11:30pm. One of those situations where she was laughing, and I was laughing inside, but not being very good at waking up, all I could manage was a 3dB grunt.)

Anyway, looking forward to having this bloody kid. We're sick of waiting, which is stupid as it's not due until Friday. This is what happens when the whole bloody family gets keyed up for it to come early because they're excited about it. So now it feels like the baby is late, even though it's still early. Oh well, looks like I was right again when I said that it won't come early. (Man, it's so boring to be right all the time!)

Today's (very appropriate) Dictionary.com word of the day: aborning \uh-BOR-ning\, adverb:While being produced or born.

J